Thea Nikolova
pray for rain
i dance across the cracked cobblestones
wildly, and without restraint, summoning clouds.
i am so big in my love, and hungry too,
i pray spring rain washes the prints of my grubby hands off your skin
i don’t know how to keep my hands to myself,
i come to you, heart in hand, jumping in puddles
i hope spring rain drowns these noises out
i hope i stop screaming, brakes screeching as
i skid to sudden halts on my knees before you: let me walk out of this love alive,
i pray spring rain will heal me, please i had tried to cast my eyes away
i had hoped to yearn more quietly, to be more worthy
the sun peeks above those sprawling cotton candy clouds
i pray the spring rain is quiet as am i,
i pray you let the aftermath be swift
i pray to be less hungry, i pray you kinder
i am struck blind by your teeth flashing in a smile
i had not known my own desperation, until you quieted it
i didn’t even know i was in love
i write us into happy mornings, street lamps breaking into glittering lovelights
i walk alone in the drizzle
i leave my marks on you, impermanent, my lipstick in your bleached hair
i dance across the cracked cobblestones wildly, and without restraint
i pray you out of my heart and i pray for rain.