Oh My Stars
by Fern G. Z. Carr
us eight seasons of laughter – R.I.P.
Samantha, devoted wife and witch, straddling two worlds –
colon cancer
No-Witchcraft-in-My-House Darrin #1 and 2 –
emphysema and prostate cancer
haughty Endora, forever casting spells on Darrin –
uterine cancer
the shenanigans of guffawing prankster Uncle Arthur –
heart attack
dotty but loving, doorknob-collecting Aunt Clara –
heart attack
eagle-eyed Mrs. Kravitz, Snoop #1 and 2 –
ovarian cancer and stroke
henpecked and wilfully oblivious Mr. Kravitz –
bladder cancer
debonair Maurice, Shakespearean “act–tore” –
cancer
Dollar-Signs-in-the-Eyes, Make-a-Buck Larry Tate –
heart attack
The-Women-behind-Their-Man Louise Tate #1 and 2 –
unspecified death and stroke
I-Think-I’m-Getting-One-of-My-Sick-Headaches Mrs. Stephens –
Alzheimer’s
congenial, easy-going Mr. Stephens #1 and 2 –
heart attacks
jittery, inept housekeeper Esmeralda –
colon cancer and stroke
Cousin Serena, Sam’s quasi-identical alter ego –
still couldn’t dodge the colon cancer.
With all the witches and warlocks
in this group,
it’s a wonder that a spell wasn’t cast on the cast
in an attempt to reverse this deadly curse.